VETO'S SANITY QUESTIONED

Portland, OR (AP)

In a brilliant display of brillance; the legal defense team of Furious George Captain Ross Urquhart struck back with a vegance in court today. The Judge, in a very unusual step, actually took a moment to have the baliff mop up the mess after the blood bath that took place.

The first step that Urquhart's team took was to show the absurdity of Veto's statments . The pictures of Veto's bathroom showed without a doubt, that there was in fact no window. Proving that either Veto made the whole story up; or was imaging things. The court reporter laughed out loud when Veto was asked many times to show how Urquhart could be watching him the shower. In tears, Veto confused that he had no proof that it was happening; but that he just knew it was.

Although this seemed to close the matter; Urquhart was done not inflicting the humilation on Veto. The next witness to take the stand was in fact the last person stalked by Urquhart. The handsome ruggedness of the witness was stark in comparasion to Veto. There was really no testimony needed; all the jury had to see was the difference in the two individuals. Veto was once again re-called to the stand. Urquhart's lawyer point blank asked him, "Do you really think that a person that is attracted to such a rugged masculine man would take his time and effort to break into your fedor wearing, metro-sexual leaning bathroom?" Once again, Veto broke down into tears noting that he didn't come close to matching up to the masculine witness.

The next to last witness may have been the one that hurt the worst. It was in fact Veto's own wife. After testifying that they had recently had their first child, she continuted by stating that Veto just didn't rock her world lately. As such, Veto had been without that loving feeling for quite some time and was looking for other outlets. Needless to say, the extessive time he was spending in the bathroom was in an attempt to 'RELEASE' some of the building tension. (If you know what we mean.) She contiuned by expressing her dismay over the last year and half and how much Veto talked about Urquhart. Discussing at length every Monday night match, he discussion of every move that Urquhart made, and how Veto felt dismayed at every rejection of his suggestions and advances.

The final witness was Urquhart himself. After his testimony that Veto had actually been the one making the advances, (his story of Veto man-handling him at Concordia came as no surprise to the jury; but was still shocking....and another nail in his coffin) the jury left to go into delibrations. After 2 1/2 minutes they returned with their verdict. No Guilty.

The judge in an unusual step, then commited Veto to further counseling. In a stern statement, he told Veto to spend more time taking care of his own needs (If you know what we mean); instead of projecting his homo-leaning issues onto others.

As Urquhart left he was overheard saying, 'poor sick bastard. But I'm going to continue to kick his ass in pool.'