MOLINARI COSTS TEAM SWEEP

Portland, OR (AP)

'Furious George Plays Pool' had quite the home opener to the summer session. After a disappointing winter campaign and a even sadder opening match, we was good to see the boys of NE finally pulling off a major thumping. Although, there were a few issues during the night.

The first issue that the legendary Captain of FGPP (Furious George Plays Pool) faced, once again, was the inability of Creepy White to show up on time. As Urquhart broke a stick over White's head, he muttered "Bitch I know you do this on purposed just because you like the punishment".

Urquhart was able to pull through his anger and sweep his opponent, setting the stage for quite a night. Will-he Ryder was up next. To try and get himself in the Captains good graces, Creapy was able to coach Will-he through some difficult situations. The first game was a little iffy, but showing his mid-season form all ready, Will-he also swept his opponent.

It was finally Creapy's turn to play. After a rough start, the first loss of the night, Creapy came back with a vengeance and won the remaining games and the match. As the game grew to a close, CAP. Urquhart grew nervous. Waylum had not arrived. He was speeding across town as White's game to a close. Slightly ruffled, Urquhart suggested that Creapy throw a game to delay the next match. Creapy shrugged off the suggestion and closed out his match.

This is where the brilliance of Captain Urquhart really came to shine. Talking quickly, and making no sense, he convinced the opposing Captain that FGPP actually had 15 min before they had to put up a player. Feeling a little guilty about hood winking the other team, Urquhart/Ryder and White bought them a round of drinks. Gasps at their generosity flooded the bar.

Within minutes, Creapy was heard to gasp, "There he is....he's here". Indeed, Porter had arrived. With a toss of his coat and a quick 'get me a beer', Porter stepped to the table. Mere minutes later his over matched opponent crawled back to his team, to lick his wounds.

At this point, dear reader, you may be confused by the title of this article. Ahhh...but now we are at the cusp of the night. Due to the lack of 'team playerism' shown by Molinari, the team was a player short. There had to be a call back. The other team got to choose. This is where Captain U made his first mistake, or stumble you might say. Because of his anger at Molinari, the Captain had...possibly....maybe...could have....drank to much. But all well agree that it was well justified. The opposing team may have noticed the slurs...or the stumbles...or the muttering of how much he wanted to kick Molinaris' Ass. Urquhart was selected. He faced off against their toughest competitor. Someone that smelled the blood in the water. Someone that had probably only played pool against old women and young children. Someone that tried to break with the butt of her pool cue. But alas, she was too tough for our might captain. And that was how the night ended. Up 4-0, the team had turned to Molinari. Who dropped the ball.

Where the team goes from here is everyone's question. But one answer is clear, Molinari's days as clean up man are through. He's been benched, for how knows how long. It's been suggested that many beers and maybe a pack or two of smokes may, indeed, get him back in the captain's good graces.