Rebuttal to: MOLINARI COSTS TEAM SWEEP

By: Veto Molinari

Other than a few horrendous spelling gaffs that would have never made it past Molinari's hound dog editor, I must tip my cap to Urquhart's attempt at journalistic humor. I actually laughed while reading this (which is rare, as Urquhart usually has nothing funny to say). I even blew a small amount of coffee out of my nose when I read the classic line in which the author refers to himself as: "talking quickly, making no sense." Ahhh, now that is fair and balanced reporting indeed my friends! And visually stimulating as well. It pulled me right into the moment and made me feel as if I was actually there listening to Urquhart babble on senselessly, as only he can do.
As for the content of the article, I was naturally troubled by a few things:

(1) It appears that Molinari did not blow the team's chance at a sweep, as it was Urquhart who recorded the only loss of the night. Therefore, only Urquhart can be left to blame for his own inability to close the deal (yes, I know, that's what he said). Though it does not surprise me that Urquhart is once again trying to blame Molinari for his own shortcomings, it is ultimately unfair and nonsensical for him to do so, at least in this case. Yet if he is implying that Molinari would have won a tough final match that he ultimately could not, I concur with the author's logic. This is probably the case indeed.

(2) Another factor that (once again) contributed to the team's only loss of the night appears to be Urquhart's excessive drunkenness and poor coaching (i.e. his inability to get his players there on time, his anger and physical abuse towards Creepy and God knows who else, etc). This, too, is concerning.

In conclusion, I must say I was very happy about most of this article. For one, it is great to see Team Binks back on the march (despite Urquhart's inability to close out the sweep and collect much needed points)! Also, as I have stated, I actually laughed at some of Urquhart's jokes. This, too, was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. However, I was ultimately left disturbed and confused by Urquhart's extremely biased title. I could not help but wonder: If Molinari gets the blame for costing us the sweep this week, shouldn't he have gotten credit for saving the team from a sweep last week? Where was our fair and balanced coach a week ago when Molinari was the only win in a 1-4 loss? Perhaps he was drunk and hung over, or perhaps busy trying to undo the pain and suffering he caused our poor, innocent new teammate Leeann after he assaulted her with a barrage of unnecessary political mumbo jumbo. This week's slam piece against Molinari would have been much easier to swallow if he had written a balanced article last week, perhaps titled Molinari Saves Team From Sweep As Everyone Else Rolls Over And Plays Possum, or possibly even Molinari Perseveres And Beats Hot Chick, Despite Urquhart's Blatant Attempt At Sabotage.

To this unfair attack I can only say: Damn you once again Urquhart, you son of a bitch...