Sorry, our regular reporter is off learning how to count so that he can teach his son someday.

BTB? Bad to the bone? Back to basics? Who knows? Who cares? Three weeks into the Spring session and FGPB was playing at home for the first time in forever. But alas, who would show? Veto the ball whisperer? Nope. The only report we had about the status of VTBW was from Captain Urquhart when he was overheard saying that 'the little freak was probably distracted by super ball that was talking to him.' Weighlum? No such luck. Again, Urquhart was overheard bitching about the fact that the match was scheduled on a Wednesday night so he could make it; but alas...it was also date night. Strike two. Blackbeard? Eventually showed; but by that time the match was almost over.

How would the team react? With three 3s, one 4 and Toby (still reeling from being cheated out of his Monday night match by...oh yeah, himself); would they possibly have a chance?

Chewy was first up. Two minutes in and he was down to two balls. (that sounds bad). He then chased those two balls around the table for the next ten minutes. (Again, that sounds bad.) But in the end he focused and took game one. Off to a great start; but then the focus slipped away and he dropped the next two games. There is hope; because he shoot very well and I'm sure he will recover quickly.

Next up was the probi UNO. Would the new recover from his bout with Small Pox? Yes, in fact he would. But first, he tried a new trick. Waiting until his opponent's lag was completed before lagging himself. Despite the foul; the opposing team didn't call it. In shock after the near brawl at Kenton Club, Uno started the match. Three up, three down. Another win for the new guy. Here's hoping he doesn't jump to a 7 again, or he will find himself back on the Captains sh*t list.

Third at bat was the Captain himself. With whiskey in hand, he lagged for the break. Holy weak crap. Despite his best efforts, he barely made it to the other end of the table. First game was a long, drawn out study of frustration. Missed shots, missed Ds; it was all just missing. Game two was a repeat. Ah, but then he remembered the comment from Veto about his special D ability. And the the comeback began. Win in game three; win in game four; and win in game five.

Binks up 2-1.

Miss Norton's turn at the table. Reporting is a little vague from this point on. The new reporter, making a rookie mistake, had one or two more whiskeys. Despite shooting well, Miss Norton lost to the Poundcake. Comments about her opponent taking the cake were not met with appreciation. Norton vowed that from that day on; Poundcake would pay! Voodoo is her secret weapon.

Binks tied 2-2.

Creapy was up. Could he redeem himself in the team's eyes? Or would he be traded to the kenton club for a bag of peanuts? He won the lag! Toby never wins the lag. He won the first game. He never wins the first game. Won the second. Won the third. Would it be a sweep? Not tonight. Lack of concentration seemed to be dooming the team. Would he fall as well? Game 4 lost. Game 5 lost. And then the return of the real Toby and he won game 6.

Binks wins 3-2.

First win of the season. The drive to the playoffs starts here. No justice, no peace. Live free or die. Let freedom ring. Nothing to fear, but fear itself. Tear down that wall! A house divided will not stand. Hmmm...doughnuts.