As Creepywhite stepped to the table for the first match on Monday night, the Kenton Club appeared to be full of good vibes and harmony. Beer flowed freely and laughter was in the air. A band played old-timey American roots music in the background. Creepy shuffled and danced to the music, doing his best Mick Jagger chicken dance in between shots. Down 1-0 to Snaggle Shaft - the Kentonites most feared player - Creepy felt confident and looked to even up the score in game two. The eight ball hung deep in the pocket, and the cue ball was merely inches away. Victory seemed assured.
"Not even Urquhart could screw this one up," commented Mixa.
But apparently Creepy could. He forgot to mark his pocket and the Kentonites pounced like Tonya Harding at a crow bar factory. A wry smile crept across Captain Burt's face as he announced their decision. "Ooooh, yeah, sorry about that guys. We're gonna have to call that one."
The Georges were shocked and appalled. Sure, the rules are the rules, but would anyone on their bench have called that foul? And more to importantly, does anyone really want to win that way? Creepy, no doubt, was stunned. Chewy sat speechless. Willie covered his eyes. Mixa temporarily gagged on her turkey sandwich. Veto's nostrils flared, and at least one witness claims to have seen smoke coming from his floppy ears.
Urquhart, however, offered little resistance. The coach actually seemed... well, happy.
"I hate to see us lose one that way," he said afterwards, "but I do enjoy screaming at Creepy when he screws up."
Creepy battled back, but ultimately lost 5-3 to the Kentonites ringer. Had he been credited with a win in game two, he surely would have won the match.
Mixa was sent up next, and the home team ramped up their brash intimidation tactics. They gave her nasty looks, and heckled her when she failed to let the cue ball roll to a complete stop after a table scratch. With momentum on their side, the Kentonites continued to catch all the rolls and Mixa lost in yet another heart breaker.
Down 2-0, it was up to Black Beard to mount the comeback charge. And mount the charge he did indeed! Our favorite pirate stormed out of the gates with his flintlock pistols blazing. "Ye landlubbers will feel the cold steel of my mighty sword in yer crusty arses!" he snarled towards the Kentonites bench as he prepared for the opening break. He then proceeded to shoot with deadly accuracy, picking up a break and run patch and steamrolling to an impressive 3-1 victory.
"Arrrrrrr," smiled Black Beard afterwards, when asked to describe how he felt about his performance.
Black Beard had done his job, and reignited the fire on the George's bench. They were down 2-1, but they were far from out. Following Black Beard's lead, Veto took Captain Burt out behind the wood shed for an old fashioned butt whooping in match four. It took just 15 innings for him to finish off the 5-1 victory.
A foggy glaze covered Burt's eyes. He looked stunned, and confused. "That must have felt like a sucker punch to the balls," summarized Chewy afterwards.
"That one was for Creepy," commented Veto, obviously referring to the gross injustice his teammate had suffered earlier in the night.
With the match tied 2-2, Captain Urquhart strode to the table. Feeding off the energy of the previous two matches, the George's leader was smooth, confident, and fearless. His patented brand of Special D was on full display for everyone to witness. He barely gave his opponent any room to breath, and before long the poor fool was about as frustrated as a man can get. He began to twitch and snivel uncontrollably. His nose ring shook like a wind chime on a stormy night.
The match came down to a hill-hill battle and, with two balls left, Urquhart found himself with a ball in hand opportunity. Sadly, he mangled it yet again, leaving himself poor position on his second shot and ultimately giving ball in hand right back to his opponent. The Kentonites could finally breath easily. With nothing but the eight ball left on the table, they happily accepted Urquhart's gift and finished off the match.
The Kentonites 3, Furious George 2.
"El Capitan played with passion, pride, and an unwavering determination tonight," commented Veto when asked about his play, "as did the rest of the team. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you give that kind of effort. We easily could have won 4 matches tonight."
"I still like the way our team is playing," said Captain Urquhart afterwards. "We've lost a few close ones sure, but that happens sometimes. We'll turn this thing around and catch a hot streak before long, I can feel it in my bones. "
Next up for Furious George: a Wednesday night make up match with the meth heads from Sweet Home.
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