Sorry friends, but I have been gone for a long while. As my editor likes to say, 'life moves fast for a freelance beat writer'. One day you're covering a high stakes billiards match in Portland, the next day its a horse race in the Tulsa, a tractor drag in West Virginia, or a bass fishing tournament in Florida. It ain't always easy, but times are tough and the recession is on, so what can a poor man do except pack a typewriter in his Lincoln and drive?
Ah, but save your tears for a better story. Old RJ Pinderton is back in high spirits. The layoff between sessions was much needed. It takes a few weeks, after all, to forget about all those terrible beat downs. There were so many. And they were all so painful. It was an awful session indeed. There was bitterness, infighting, anger... and the losses kept coming. The Georges finished a distant memory in the standings, and people around the league began to openly question their condition; mental and otherwise.
But hot dammit, I am here to report that Furious George is back! The summer session began last Monday against their arch rivals, The Kenton Club; where the weather is always grey and the bad blood runs like electricity through the walls. Perhaps these very conditions caused Burt to fire 'The Shot Heard 'Round The NOPO Division' last session when he called out Creepywhite for not marking his pocket on an eight ball; though it was the easiest of all easy hangers, with virtually no chance of error for any player of ANY skill level. His bush-league move tipped the series, and ultimately the match for the Kentonites, who slipped away with a 3-2 win.
Urquhart was furious for months. He paced around the house in a tattered bath robe, mumbling and sneering about those low down suns a bitches and their dirty tricks. "Burt thinks he can play us for fools?" he would snarl at himself. He pulled at his chest hair and spit as he screamed profanities. God forbid he caught a passing glance of himself in a mirror. Many ended up smashed to pieces on the ground. It was a terrible scene, by all neighborly accounts. He once put a whiskey bottle through a picture frame while an innocent girl scout stood on his front porch with a wagon full of cookies; petrified, frozen with terror.
Upon setting his eyes on the Summer schedule, his feelings of pent up anger suddenly changed. Urquhart's psyche shifted a few degrees to the north and the fury slowly turned to determination. Some say he was on a quest for redemption. Others say it was revenge.
Said Urquhart, "When I found out we were opening at the Kenton Club, I was like, 'oh-my-god, I so want to kill these guys'. Okay, so how am I gonna get these id-iots on my team to (1) show up on time, (2) not screw it up, and (3) not annoy me while I get drunk?"
"The fury runs deep," confirmed Veto afterwards. "I think its safe to say that the old codger wanted this one bad. Real bad."
The Georges rolled into the pub and received the Kenton Club's usual brand of icy cold hospitality. No words were uttered, no pleasantries of any kind exchanged. Both teams wanted nothing more than to screw their cues together and get down to business.
For the Georges, it was the business payback.
From the opening match, their was little doubt about who was in control. With a flurry of body blows and daunting jabs, the Georges jumped out to a convincing 4-0 lead. Blackbeard, Creepy, Veto and Urquhart all won in succession. Each showcased impressive moments, took advantage when opportunities presented themselves, and sealed their wins. It wasn't always perfect, nor pretty, but it was never really in doubt either.
Burt fumed, silently. The night had turned into a nightmare of epic proportions. When Willie jumped out to a 3-0 lead in match one, he instinctively knew that it was going to be long night. Creepy stepped up next and gave their ringer - and highest ranked player - a bad case of whiplash. The Kentonites were down 0-2 and there was little hope in sight. When Burt sent up a 4 to play Veto , the room was stunned. Everyone thought for sure he would put up himself - a five - to avenge the 1-5 thrashing Veto gave him the last time they played. But Burt wanted no part of Veto on this night. He later claimed the '23 rule' as his defense, stating, "I had no choice, other than to sack up and play Veto, and then forfeit the last match. We were down 0-3 so some would say, 'what the hell, why not? Be a man Burt.' But I tugged on my lip ring and thought about it, and ultimately chose to take the cautious route."
Afterwards, when the stunned crowd had dissipated and the last reporter had packed away his camera, Burt approached Veto and said, "When did you go up to a six, at the end of last session? Hmm. I think you played better as a 5."
Class move Burt, class move. When asked about the incident afterwards, Veto responded, "It just confirms why we were so motivated to embarrass them on their home table tonight. But I'll give Burt one thing, he is a bold dude to make a statement like, especially after the beating I gave him last time we played. I just have one question: if I'm a 5 by his standards, what does that make him, a weak 4 or a strong 3?"
Said Urquhart of the team's win, "Its about time these guys started a session the way I told them too. And its about time the Kenton Club got the bitch slapping they deserved." When asked about the prospects of success for the Summer session, he replied, "Just win three. That is our new battle cry. If we win at least three matches each week - which we all know we can do - you'll be seeing us in Tri Cups."
Ah yes, the passion is back. The fury has returned. And the bitter rivalry with the Kentonites continues. All in all, it was a great opening night. Much better than a chili cook off in Tuscaloosa or a strong man competition in Milwaukee, I can tell you that.
The Georges came and they conquered, reminding us all along the way of the spirit and tenacity they once entranced the masses. And, in the end, they left with a blunt statement plastered right upon the Kentonites wall: 'we're back, and the summer session is ours to win.'
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