Much to the chagrin of head coach Urquhart, the new guy has set a major team record in just one week of play. With a masterful performance in his first outing at the Blue Parrot, Numero Uno has escalated to the top of the APA mountain. "He was so powerful," said local APA official Boomer Humphreys, "that we had no choice but to rank him a 7. He probably would have been a 9 or a 10 if the rankings went that high."
Said Veto, "Wow, Numero Uno has been on our team for one week and has already achieved the highest ranking in team history. Very impressive indeed. I am humbled in his presence."
Urquhart, however, did not share Veto's warm and fuzzy feelings towards Numero Uno's record setting performance. "He needs to come down off of his high horse and remember one thing: he's still just the FNG around here! He's a worthless peon, a neophyte, a helpless ninny who still needs me to wipe his ass. You hear that new guy? I WIPE THE ASSES AROUND HERE!"
When reminded that the new guy is popular with teammates and has been widely credited with bringing a burst of fresh energy to the mix, Urqhuart replied, "He hasn't done anything yet except annoy me. Does he have a conference championship under his belt? No. Does he have any APA trophies on his mantle? No. Does he have an island and a bridge named after him like I do? Puh-lease."
Confirmed Urquhart's young nephew, "Its true, they named Ross Island and The Ross Island Bridge after him. He knows Santa Clause too, he told me so himself. Uncle Ross is my hero!"
In other news, Furious George lost another hard fought battle on Monday night, this time to the 8 Ballers from U&I Tavern. Hoping to set the tone early, Urquhart called his own number in match one. While his shot making and strategery were impressive, he was ultimately unable to pull out the win. "I can't get too down on myself for losing to that guy," said the captain afterwards, "he was just sooooo cute."
Sadly, things went down hill from there for The Georges. Veto had the lone win of the night, sweeping his opponent 4-0 and salvaging a small bit of pride for the team.
The Georges are currently 0-2 on the session, and have a total match record of 3-7.
In a rare moment of clarity afterwards, Urquhart managed to sum things up nicely: "Its no time to panic. We've lost a few close ones this session, but that's just they way it goes sometimes. Its still early, and this isn't the first time we've started slow. It won't be the first time we come roaring back either. At the end of the day I like the way our guys are playing and I like our chances. I feel like next week is going to be a big win for Furious George."
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