RELAPSE! FURIOUS GEORGE FALLS TO CORNER SPOT PLAYERS IN HOME OPENER

Coming off of an impressive 4-1 victory at the Kenton Club, Furious George suffered a terrible let down in their Summer session home opener, falling 2-3 to the Corner Spot Players.

Said Veto, "I wasn't there, but my guess is the coaching was to blame."

Numero Uno and Mixa fell in quick succession to start the night. "We missed last week's match due to our anniversary," confirmed Uno afterwards, "so we were a little rusty. This is mostly due to the fact that we stayed in bed all week making sweet, sweet love."

Urquhart raged. "No practice? NO PRACTICE?!! That is completely unacceptable. Just because I never practice doesn't give the rest of these peons the right to slack. God damnit, GET OUT AND PRACTICE! No more love making, do you hear me? If I don't get to have any sex, none of you do!"

Waylund and Urquhart battled back valiantly, winning the next two matches and evening things up at two matches a piece. For a moment, the excitement at Binks reached a fevered pitch. Women screamed. Old men yodeled. A bartender pulled up her shirt, exposing her glorious tattooed breasts to the team.

"I didn't look," said Urquhart, "because I'm gay."

But in the end it was not meant to be. Blackbeard, while an expert at raping and pillaging and creating all sorts of general pirate-like havoc on the high seas, could not muster up the strength to beat a three with the match on the line.

"Arrr," he said afterwards, despondently. "I deserve to walk me own plank."

"It was a swell comeback," sighed Creepywhite, "at least while it lasted."

"Am I pissed?" asked Urquhart at his post game press conference. "You bet your ass I am. I'm pissed at Dave and Mixa for losing, I'm pissed at Blackbeard for losing, I'm pissed at Creepy for annoying me, I'm pissed at Chewy for having better hair than I do, and I'm pissed at Veto because, well, mostly because I just really hate that guy."

"I guess we better rebound next week," commented Chewy, "or coach is going to be pissed."

Next up for the Georges: Piedmont Place.