Reports are coming out of Northeast Portland that Binks pool player Veto Molinari is close to landing a major record deal. Said one Rolling Stone editor, who recently obtained a rare bootleg copy of Veto's work: "His songs are deep and insightful, powerful and bold. They cover every genre of music from country to polka to rock and roll. By God, its a masterful, sprawling body of work! His songs sear through the clutter of our everyday consciousness and cut right to the very core of our existence."
Said Veto, "These songs are based on my own personal experiences and hardships - mostly those with my Furious George teammates. They are raw, intimate, graphic snap shots of my reality. Listen if you dare."
The singer-songwriter plans to record his album in the south of France sometime during the winter months. It will include such underground hits as I Still Hate Urquhart On Tuesday Mornings. With its big sing-along chorus, this country western diddy boasts the following lyrics:
Other songs include the punk rock favorite Toby Drinks Too Much...
Toby drinks too much
Toby drinks too much
Toby drinks and fights and f*cks too much
God help you
if you cross him on a bender
He'll drive off
with your dog tied to his fender
Then there is the moaning, Delta blues version of Hey Willie, Can I Bum One More Cigarette....
Its ten o'clock and I'm drunk as heck
Hey Willie can I bum a cigarette
Please Willie
PLEASE WILLIE!
Just one more
Please Willie
PLEASE WILLIE!
Just one more
And finally, Veto croons at his finest througout the twelve minute folk anthem, The Old Red Dragon Got Me High Out Back...
My eyes are red
and my minds a wreck
The old red dragon got me high out back
Oh please Andy, don't ya make me smoke no more!
Dear God Andy, don't ya make me smoke no more!
Record execs from two major labels are currently involved in an intense bidding war over the rights to Veto's music. Said Jon Halverstein of Virgin Records, "This material is remarkable. Veto's whiny voice, snarling lyrics and choppy phrasing style sends chills down my spine. Neighborhood dogs begin to howl and moan every time I play the demo tape. Its going to be a beautiful record."
Said Frank Donkowski of Columbia Records, "I laughed, I cried, I felt strangely compelled to learn more about Veto's plight. Who is this lone wolf, I found myself wondering, and why does he associate with this strange band of maniacs whom he refers to as... Furious George?'"
When asked if this is going to be the most important record of the year, Veto replied, "Absolutely. At least for my family. We expect it to be a big hit in Japan."
No comments:
Post a Comment