U&I SNAPS FURIOUS GEORGE'S FIVE GAME WINNING STREAK... EVEN FROM ACROSS THE POND, URQUHART STILL MANAGES TO SCREW HIS TEAM

Even from the distant shores of the Italian Riviera, Urquhart still managed to cost his team a victory with one of his famous blunders. "I thought we were safe for the next few weeks," stated interim head coach Creepywhite afterwards, "but I guess I was wrong."

Urquhart left the country on vacation last week, leaving his team without an official red dot ball. When the boys showed up to play first place U&I on Monday night, panic quickly ensued. "Sweet God!" one fan cried aloud, "Without a red dot ball, there won't be a match!" Creepy's mind went blank and he began to stutter incoherent nonsense in strange tongues. Mixa gnawed uncontrollably on the butt of her pool cue, Norton. Bam Bam removed his glasses and used the sleeves of his t-shirt to wipe away tears. Chewy unleashed a slew of Irish curse words that mostly rhymed with 'buck' and 'feet'. Waylund, from depths of a meat freezer in his secret grocery warehouse, let out a blood curdling scream and then proceeded to beat on the hanging cow carcases like punching bags. Willie, thank God, picked up the phone and called the one person who could possibly undo one of Urquhart's boneheaded blunders: Veto.

Though not in attendance for the night's match, Veto temporarily saved the day by agreeing to let the team borrow his six red dot ball. Creepy drove through the streets of Northeast Portland at breakneck speed, desperately seaching for Veto's secret lair. When he finally arrived, Veto met him out front. Like an Olympic relay team handing off a baton, they made a clean, flawless exchange. In one swift motion, Creepy had the ball and was back in his truck, racing towards Binks. The time was already 7:10.

Creepy made it back by 7:15 and they began the match late. Sadly, however, the psychological damage had already been done. Urquhart's blunder had taken the team out of their pregame routine. Their fragile minds had been shaken and distracted; their momentum cut off at the knees. They tried to recover from the terrible opening moments of the night, but it was too late. U&I was too good, and the damage done by Urquhart was too severe. Save one tremendous victory from Bam Bam (over a six), Furious George collectively went down in flames. They lost 1-4 and their impressive five game winning streak came screming to a halt.

"Give credit to U&I where credit is due," said interim coach Creepywhite afterwards, "but make no mistake about it - the blame for tonight's epic meltdown lies squarely on Urquhart's shoulders. He screwed us good with this latest blunder of his, he screwed us REAL good."