"Its good to see their 3s and 4s stepping up and leading the charge," wrote Billiards Digest columnist Larry Schwartz. "They are all playing exceptionally well right now, except for Urquhart of course."
The Georges came into the night tied for 3rd with the Evil Todds, but have no doubt been the hottest team in the division over the last 5 weeks. They have won 18 of their last 25 individual matches, sending chills of terror down the collective NOPO spine.
"18 of 25, that's a .720 winning percentage," stated Willie, who quickly worked out the numbers on his cell phone calculator. He then announced the temperature in Tokyo before showing a group of unsuspecting strangers some video of his kid at the park.
Despite these impressive stats their veteran captain continued to warn about the pitfalls of complacency during his post game press conference. "Now look," he scowled, "we haven't won anything yet. Nobody is going to roll over and let us tickle their balls. This is still the NOPO division, and every goddam point could cost us in the end." He then slammed his fist into the table, sending whiskey and cigarette ash flying towards the front row of reporters. "How the hell can I be satisfied with 3-2 when it should have been 4-1 tonight?"
Most in attendance suspected Urquhart was directing his fury inward. He had lost yet another heartbreaker, this time to a 5, and has clearly not been the same at the table since Ron Jeremy's crack whore smacked him senseless 4 weeks ago. Fortunately for the Geroges and their legion of faithful fans, however, his coaching skills have yet to waver. In fact, some would argue they have been sharper than ever during this historic run.
"Sure, Urquharts been shooting like an old drunk with a bad case of the shakes," commented recovering addict and FGPP fan Robert Downey Junior, "but his fury and dedication have remained steadfast and true." When asked if Hollywood might come knocking at Furious George's door, the legendary actor responded: "I sure hope so. Who knows, maybe I'll be the one to make the film. It would be an Oscar contender, I'll tell you that. I'd cast Ed Asner as Urquhart, Adrian Brody as Corn Sandwich, Cory Feldman as Blackbeard, Helen Hunt as Mixa, Kevin Bacon as Veto, Fred Savage as The Chief, Britt Hume as Creepywhite, and myself as that son of a bitch Edward Norton."
Downey Junior then stumbled out of Binks and and fell face first into a puddle, leaving many to wonder if his recent adventures with Furious George had caused him to fall off the wagon yet again.
"The Georges are kind of like the Rolling Stones, in more ways than one," pointed out rock historian Donald Hinkle. "But most notably in this regard: not many people who travel within their inner circle make it out alive. Sadly, this does not bode well for Mr. Downey Junior or his film plans."
In other news, Veto sent his teammates a congratulatory telegram from Asia on Wednesday morning, which read in part: "Congrats on 5 straight... they love us here in Bangkok... lots of pool tables, and whores... authorities closing in fast, must leave for Phuket soon... please, beat those fuckers from the Nest for me"
Next up for the Georges: those fuckers from the Nest
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