Coming off back to back wins against The Ranger and Piedmont Place, Furious George faced a tall task at The Mouse Trap on Monday night. After a near melt down last week, many questioned their mental state of mind, as well as their ability to compete in such a hostile environment. Creepy and Veto both bungled matches in epic fashion leaving fans, teammates and media aghast with horror and disappointment. If not for the last minute heroics of Blackbeard - as well as some help from the legendary Bins mojo - the Georges' winning streak would have died tragically at two.
While Northeast Portland's favorite sons (and daughter) now find themselves in contention, they face a long and grueling road to NOPO glory. Several teams are off to blistering starts, most notably the Evil Todd's, who were 4-0 coming into the night, winning their last two matches by scores of 4-1 and 5-0. Tails, from The Nest, is hot on their trail, posting equally impressive score lines in this opening stanza of the fall session.
"We're in the hunt, at least for the moment," a stern Urquhart cautioned local reporters at the pre-game press conference, "but we're only one screw up away from slipping into the abyss and praying for a wild card draw."
He then paused, drawing deeply on his cigarette and tossing back yet another shot of whiskey. "Lets be real boys. You can't let up for a second in this division or it will devour you like a pack of swarming locusts."
"There is generally a turning point in each session," noted new APA spokeswoman and WPBA great Jeanette Lee (aka The Black Widow). "Sometimes a team won't even notice it when it happens, yet they can look back with the clarity of hindsight and say 'yeah, that was the week we crapped down our leg...' or 'yeah, that was the week we established ourselves as contenders.' I get the feeling this week is going to be one of those weeks for the Georges. The big questions is: just who will they reveal themselves to be."
On Monday night, deep inside the churning bowels of Lombard Street, the pool world would find out.
Corn Sandwich got the nod in match one, and picked up right where he left off: on fire. He displayed finesse, impressive shot making skills, and top notch strategic play en route to a second consecutive 2-0 sweep.
By 7:15 it was all over but for the crying, much to the excitement of the FGPP faithful. The Sandwich waved to the appreciative crowd, kissed a few hysterical female fans, and left many of the elite in attendance talking about history.
"I don't remember the last time he lost a game, never mind a match," commented pool legend Nick Varner, "but I'm pretty sure it was sometime back in 09."
"Watch out Oregon," warned Henry Snodgrass of the FDA, "the corn is hot!"
Things would not go so smoothly for the Georges in match two. The Chief ran into a buzz saw of a 6 and was unable fend him off. Nate the Great issued an impressive 5-0 sweep, avenging Corn Sandwich's battered victim and sending The Chief to an early shower. For the moment, at least, the energy in the room appeared to shift. Dozens of Mouse Trap homers roared and sneered at the Georges, yelling profanities at their captain and tossing greasy tater tots towards their bench.
"I'd like to say that was fun," commented a humble Chief, "but it wasn't."
Sensing an opportunity to deliver the ol' one-two knockout punch, Edie called her own number for match three. It was an unprecedented move, unloading both of her 6s back to back, but she was confident she could use the newfound momentum to dismantle yet another high ranking George. Unfortunately for her, Veto had plans of his own. Reeling from last week's blow, he was focussed and determined to exact revenge upon "any one of those middle aged broad's in their lineup."
And so he did. It took just 13 innings for Veto to administer a 5-1 beat down, effectively quieting the raucous Trap loyalists and setting the stage for an FGPP victory.
"I really didn't know what to expect from Veto tonight," stated a blunt Urquhart afterwards, "but I was soooo hoping for a Todd-rum."
Up 2-1, Urquhart sensed the opportunity for a knockout blow of his own and sent Mixa out to seal the deal. Sadly, however, it was not meant to be. She struggled to find her rhythm and soon found herself on the losing end of an 0-2 sweep.
"Mixa fought valiantly, as usual, but was ultimately let down by that son of a bitch Edward Norton," claimed one Hollywood insider in attendance. Upon hearing the charges, Norton fired back in true diva-like fashion, stating that it wasn't his fault, that his pre-game dressing room was "not stocked with the proper spread of wines and cheeses", therefore leaving him "unable to perform at his usual high level of play."
"I really think she needs to exercise the demons in that cue," sighed one discouraged fan afterwards. "That Edward Norton has turned out to be a bigger byatch than J-Lo on her period."
Tied 2-2 Creepywhite strode to the table with an opportunity to redeem himself, quell the furor of his captain, and win back the respect of the Furious George Nation. Dressed in black, with both hands shaking noticeably, he looked like a man preparing for his own funeral.
"After the train wreck that was last week, I suppose it is only fitting that he's out there for the deciding match tonight," commented Urquhart before the lag. "Lets just hope he doesn't make me want to kill him again."
In the end Creepywhite would not disappoint. After enduring an early defensive battle that was on par with watching paint dry, our hero established control and managed his way to an impressive 4-1 victory.
"He really showed his resiliency tonight," summarized one proud fan in a pink 'Creepywhite For Prom Queen' t-shirt. "OMG, he is soooo dreamy again!"
The Georges leapt from the bench and mobbed their beloved star, who wept openly on Urquhart's shoulder.
"I never thought I'd make another ball again," he sobbed to reporters. "Last week was hell on my psyche, my underpants, and my team. Not to mention all the fans who paid hard earned money to watch me publicly disgrace myself. I'm just happy I was able to bounce back and help us get a win tonight."
"I predicted the Georges would reveal themselves this week," stated an ecstatic Black Widow afterwards, "and they definitely did. They battled mightily on the road and proved they have the mental fortitude to contend in the toughest of all APA divisions."
Said pool legend and recent Hall of Fame inductee Francisco Bustamante, "It was encouraging to see Creepy and Veto rebound and lead the charge, especially after those poor bastards nearly got run out of town on a rail last week."
FGPP fans who traveled for the match celebrated long into the night, dancing on table tops, drinking heavily, and filling the room with chants of "THREE IN A ROW... THREE IN A ROW... THREE IN A ROW!!"
"It was beautiful music to my ears," admired Corn Sandwich, who passed the remainder of the evening with no less than two beautiful women on his lap at all times.
"Watch out NOPO division," The Black Widow cautioned over the noise and chaos of Lombard Street, "there is a sleeping giant out there, and its name is Furious George."
