Furious George lost again on Monday night, falling 2:3 to The Corner Spot Players. It was the George's fourth straight loss, and their fifth in the last six matches. Their last win came 5 weeks ago, under the stern leadership of interim head coach Veto. Since Urquhart's return from Italy, the team has gone 0-4 and is a dismal 6-14 in individual match play.
When pushed for comment on the rapid decline of his coaching skills, the fiery captain replied, "I don't know. I wasn't even keeping score, Toby was. Who cares? Screw you. What difference does it make? Its only a bar league anyway."
"Well," summed up Creepywhite afterwards, "a wise man once said that 'wisdom is knowing how little you know'. If that's the case, then I suppose Urquhart must be a freaking genius."
In a related story, attendance has sunk to an all time low as fans appear to abandoning their local billiards team in mass numbers. Once the pride of the neighborhood, Furious Georges now finds themselves reduced to the laughing stock of Alberta Street. Hipsters and hippies alike chuckle and sneer as they pass the garage door that separates the Binks pool room from the sidewalk. Drunks spit on the windows and hurl profanities towards the players. Young children - once proud and excited to see their heros - now whimper and cry, begging their parents not to make them walk past the famous pool room. "Suck it up son," one father was overheard telling his pathetic, sobbing young son as they tip toed down the avenue. Urquhart's bloated, lifeless body lay in front of them on the pavement, passed out in a pool of his own blood and vomit. Vultures circled above. "Life is full of disappointments."
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